shellen.com / allison

Monday, January 10, 2005

Conversations that can only happen right before you give birth...

Today I realized the power my phone calls have over those I love the most. Everytime I pick up the phone someone on the other end is thinking "this is it, she's ready". Today I called Jason and this is how it went:

Jason: (in a meeting, in a hush tone) Hi, are you having a baby?
Me: No
Jason: Then I have to go, I love you.

And scene.

The other day I called my parents , the tone in their voice was filled with anticipation as they tried to stay calm and wait for the reason I really called, which so far, has been nothing exciting.

And you can forget leaving a missed call on someone's cell phone, they are all sure that the moment is upon us and they are missing it.

It is actually a lot of pressure. I hate to dissappoint the one's I love.

Seriously we are all so excited we can not contain ourselves. So even if this baby does not feel quite like making its grand appearence just yet, the little peanut should at least feel loved.

Thank you all for being so excited and supportive. Now let's all pray that this crazy event goes down in the middle of the day when we are all awake and bright eyed and maybe you won't even be expecting a phone call from me...

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The End is near

But not near enough for me since the end is not today. I am of course referring to my pregnancy. I am so tired of waiting. I consider myself to be a patient person, but not when it comes to surprises. I am terribly immature when it comes to waiting for surprises. I really want to know who this baby is, but I guess I also can not resist the thought of having that moment when Jason shouts out the news : boy or girl.

I also miss some pretty precious things like...I want to sleep on my stomach, I want to just sleep really. I am sick of maternity clothes. I want to be able to tie my shoes without any effort or help for that matter. (I have actually had to ask Jason to help me tie my shoes.) I want to not feel as big as a house or only feel comfortable in sweats and pajamas. We may have a ceremonial burning of the pregnancy sweats because I never want to see them again! I want to not ache.

Yeah I might be feeling a bit emotional today but so what I am 38 weeks pregnant and only ONE CENTIMETER dilated. So my level of impatience is beginning to rise. Pity me ...Please?!

At the same time I know that I should relish the miracle that is pregnancy, I love to feel the baby moving and today I saw an ultra sound of a whole person inside of me, doing well, inside of me. I just can not wait for this little person to reveal themselves. I want to hold them, on the outside. The truth is I am just a big baby myself. I have a lot to be grateful for, I am healthy, the baby is healthy, the end is actually very near, but well you know...