My email is sickIf you sent me an email in the last week or so, go ahead and resend... I've got issues.
Down timeShellen.com will be off the air for a few minutes while more memory is added to the aging beast that is the shellen.com server. We will be able to remember more upon it's return. During the downtime ponder this, all that separates us from the apes is always-on network connectivity...and something to do with thumbs. You can quote me on that.
[update] ...so the good news is shellen.com is back up! Bad news - I killed Evhead. Sorry buddy!
Governor Rainier 'McBain' Wolfcastle
Rainier 'McBain' Wolfcastle is the cartoon parody of Schwarzenegger on The Simpsons
I'm seeing a trend. Any time that I think a candidate is ridiculous, has no chance in hell of winning an election, he or she does in fact win.
California has just elected cartoonish, action hero type, Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor. Besides wanting to have a special election to create a new state line below Carmel, I'm trying to learn from this win. Below I've listed a strategy for the Democratic candidates in the 2004 presidential election. I think it's a winner.
Democratic Presidential Plan B
- Abandon current high brow debates. No one likes an egghead.
- Hide all copies of current strategy. Your actual opinions can only hurt your chances. Save those for after the swearing in ceremony.
- Begin making wild outlandish claims about wanting to be the 'peoples president' and that you want to work with 'everyone'. Try something original like 'I want to give every man and woman I see a firm handshake.'
- Try and work with your PR folks to work up a rivalry with a Republican candidate. Everyone loves a fight.
- Play up any character points. If you are from Idaho, have publicity shots of you eating a potato. If you are from Vermont, attend a Phish concert. People love visual hooks.
- Make brash statements about the incumbent, ie: 'The problem with the current administration is that the fat cats are pandering to lobbyists every Tuesday of the month at TGI Fridays!'
- Get endorsements from people who don't really have anything to do with politics. Specifically, Justin Timberlake, Eminem, and Jessica Simpson could swing a state like Michigan with their views exposed on Letterman.
- Late night talk shows. Do them. Do them well, perhaps hire a stand-in like Ray Romano if you can't do them yourself.
- Enjoy the view from the Oval Office.
Also, I saw this photo of Arnold pointing AFTER I posted the Wolfcastle image above.
Cool (or so)
Liz Phair signed my ticket the other day at the unbelievably hot, yet excellent Duran Duran - Liz Phair show in Golden Gate Park. I'm going to keep this ticket in my pocket this weekend as I have Pergo installed in the entire downstairs of my house. I'm hoping it will somehow counter act my feeling that I am becoming less cool. If you want to experience a similar, 'cool but not really' feeling I suggest going skateboarding at Sears in the 'Young Miss' department.
In other news, Godspeed to Goldman this weekend as he gets Con'd on behalf of the Blogger team.
It's drafty in hereI was just looking at all the things I've never posted to this site. I know that sounds odd but in Blogger you can mark things 'Draft' and they just hang out waiting to be finished (or not). It's great to see what didn't make the cut over the years. I'm not sure why I didn't finish some of these posts or if I was beaten to the punch by another blogger at the time of writing. Either way I found a funny(?) draft post from around the time everyone and their mother was signing a blog book deal that I never posted. Apologies to Rebecca Blood, Biz Stone, and the We Blog crew.
SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 4, 2002 / -- Jason Shellen announced today in an agreement with no one in particular to not write a book about the weblog phenomenon.
Mr. Shellen made a similar agreement earlier this year with Evan Williams, CEO and President of Pyra.
"I consider Jason a talented guy," said Williams, "and all of us here at Pyra are happy to work with him but his spelling is atrocious and frankly he spends enough time looking at the damn things (blogs) without him spending more time writing a book about them!"
The first title not to be published by Shellen was to be called ‘Blogger: How to win friends and write influential posts’.
In 2003 Shellen is expected to not publish several titles, including 'Pyra Labs: Nope, I’m the other guy', and 'Blog Off! : 101 ways to blog'
Shellen.com receives upwards of 5 visits a day, not including his mother's crawling of the site for 'inappropriate content'.
"I am delighted to not be working with a publishing house," said Shellen. "It's a perfect match for both our houses.